A Mother’s Story- Why I Had to Retire at 32?: I never thought I would have to say goodbye to my career at 32. In fact, if you had asked me a few years ago, I would have told you that I was just getting started. I had worked hard, climbing my way up in a field that I loved. I was on the verge of a managerial position—something I had dreamed of for so long. But life had other plans.
At 31, I became a mother. I can’t describe the joy I felt when I first held my baby in my arms. It was a kind of love I had never known before. But along with that love came challenges—more than I ever imagined. My life turned upside down.
The Struggle Between Motherhood and Everything Else
During my maternity leave, I found myself lost in a whirlwind of responsibilities. My baby needed me constantly, day and night. And on top of that, there were household chores that just couldn’t be ignored. Every day felt like a race against the clock. I was sleep-deprived, physically exhausted, and emotionally drained. My husband and in-laws were there, but the help? It was missing. Everything fell on my shoulders, and I struggled to keep going.
There were moments when I didn’t even have time to shower, let alone take care of my mental health. Postpartum was harder than I ever thought it would be. I didn’t just feel tired—I felt trapped. I felt like I was losing myself, little by little. But I told myself I could manage. I had to, right?
The End of Maternity Leave
Then came the dreaded day when my maternity leave ended. I had to return to work, and with it came new layers of pressure. I wasn’t just a mom anymore—I was also an employee with deadlines, meetings, and expectations. Every morning started with rushing through chores, feeding my baby, and somehow pulling myself together to appear “professional” at work.
But the reality was, I was breaking inside. Balancing work, household duties, and caring for a small baby left no room for me. Every single day felt like a struggle, and I was constantly on the edge. There were nights when I’d sit in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how much longer I could keep going. My body was tired, my mind was overwhelmed, and I felt like I had no support.
The Decision I Didn’t Want to Make
I didn’t want to quit. I loved my job. I had spent years building my career, working late nights, sacrificing weekends, all for the sake of growth. I could see a promotion on the horizon—a managerial position that I had worked so hard for. But the truth is, I couldn’t do it anymore. The constant pressure of trying to be everything to everyone—an employee, a mother, a homemaker—was tearing me apart.
It wasn’t just physical exhaustion. My mental health was slipping too. I felt anxious all the time, worried about everything from missing work deadlines to whether I was being a good enough mother. I was burning out, and I knew I needed to stop. For the sake of my health and my family, I made the hardest decision of my life—I resigned.
My Mom: A Glimmer of Help
For a short while, I went back to stay with my own mom. She helped me as much as she could. Having her by my side during those weeks was a blessing. She cooked for me, held my baby while I rested, and reminded me that it was okay to slow down. But even that temporary relief couldn’t solve the larger problem. I needed more than just a few weeks of help—I needed ongoing support, the kind I never got at home.
The Silent Struggles of Motherhood
Postpartum is something no one really prepares you for. People talk about the joy of having a baby, but not enough about the emotional and physical toll it takes on mothers. My body had changed, and so had my mind. I was dealing with constant fatigue, mood swings, and the overwhelming feeling that I had to do it all on my own. I wasn’t just losing sleep—I was losing myself.
It’s hard to explain the weight of the mental burden. The little moments, like hearing your baby cry while you’re on a work call, or staring at the pile of dishes knowing you have no energy left, start to break you down piece by piece. It’s a kind of exhaustion that goes beyond being tired—it’s feeling empty.
What I Lost and What I Gained
By choosing to leave my job, I knew I was giving up something that meant a lot to me. I’ll always wonder what would have happened if I had stayed. Could I have made it? Could I have found a way to balance everything? Maybe. But at what cost? My health? My mental well-being?
I had to prioritize my family and myself. I couldn’t keep going at the rate I was, pretending that everything was okay when it wasn’t. And while it’s painful to let go of a career I worked so hard for, I’ve gained something far more important—my peace of mind. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, even if it doesn’t always come. It’s okay to prioritize yourself, even when the world tells you otherwise.
To Other Moms Out There
If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re at your breaking point, please know that you’re not alone. Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s also hard—so much harder than people often admit. Don’t be afraid to step back if you need to. Don’t let the pressure of “doing it all” take away your mental health or your happiness.
I may have retired at 32, but I’m still learning, still growing, and still finding my way. Life doesn’t always go as planned, but that’s okay. Sometimes, the hardest decisions turn out to be the best ones.